Here's a thought...

Hi everyone!! And Happy '08!! I'm hoping that all is well with you and this year is getting off to a great start. I have a feeling that it's going to be a WONDERFUL and eventful one :-)

Something I've been thinking about lately just came up in conversation with the hubby (you know, one of those late night, let's stay up and talk even though we've got to wake up in 5 hours nights). We were discussing people's reactions to our adoption news and our reactions to THEIR reactions...and it got quite interesting.

First of all, let me just say that D.J. and I are quite different in our reactions to people and the reactions that we get from people are almost opposite. D.J. tends to get more negative reactions. For example, he RARELY gets congratulated and the conversations tend to be very brief and uncomfortable. He says that they usually go something like this...
D.J.: "We're adopting."
Random Person: "Really? Huh, adopting from here?"
D.J.: "No, we're adopting siblings from Ethiopia."
Random Person: "Oh...that's cool. See ya." OR "You're adopting siblings...like more than one? You're crazy, man."

My conversations often look similar to this...
Me: "My husband and I are adopting siblings."
Random Person: "Really?!? That's wonderful. Where are you adopting from?"
Me: "They're Ethiopian. We're soo excited!"
Random Person: "Wow. That's such a great thing you're doing. It really takes a special person to open they're home like that. I think that's so neat."

Okay, so obviously D.J. feels like people don't care...he had a conversation today at work with someone who is expecting twins. Of course, D.J. told him "congratulations" and "that's really exciting." And then mentioned our paper pregnancy. Neither of the two men he was talking with reciprocated the enthusiasm, or even said a simple "congrats." (Sad face.)

On the flip side, I am very uncomfortable with people praising me...especially in public. I whole-heartedly appreciate the kind thoughts (no, really, I DO!) and nothing delights me more in life than for others to be excited for us, but, I am not doing charity work here!! I am an expectant mother who just wants people to be EXCITED with me and to help me plan baby-room-decorations and tell me they're diaper and bottle recommendations. I want to know what to expect when baby's start teething and which stroller I just HAVE to have! Where do I get bargain clothes and exactly when do children start sitting in booster seats rather than high chairs?!?

Also, please, please, please, please spread the word that it is very inappropriate to tell us, "you have no idea what you're getting into" or "you've applied for the possibility of TRIPLETS?!? you're life with be over (um, yes...I HAVE actually heard that one)" or "you're going from no children to 2-3 WITH a teenager in less than a year?!? are you crazy?"

We're not crazy. We know this will be hard. We realize this is NOT the traditional means of starting a family. We are aware of the expense of adoption compared to the insurance-covered birthing process. And, yes, we KNOW interracial parenting isn't an easy or simple course to take. Thank you SOOO much for your love and concern, but the decisions have been made and our trust is in the Lord, so come what may, this family will deal with it and try our very best to praise God through the good and the bad. We're really thrilled about this and hope everyone can understand that and be sensitive with their comments/reactions. I DO understand this is a learning curve for all of us, so please know that even though reactions are at times not what we are hoping for (or maybe even sometimes offensive), we really do appreciate everyone's attempts and try REALLY hard not to take things too personally. I only know what I know because I'm having to learn it...most people don't even think about the impact of their words or reactions because this is SO STRANGE to them. That's okay. We understand that. Practice makes perfect, right...maybe?

OFF TOPIC:
We're starting a new study with our small group on Christianity and politics that I think is going to be GREAT...maybe more to come on that this week...? Also, I bought an African angel ornament (on sale at Hallmark) and a baby book today that I LOVE LOVE LOVE!!

Good night!