Maci Update

Maci is four and a half. She loves ballet (has taken 1 half-hour lesson in her whole life), dresses, high heels, and braided hair. She twirls and sings and loves to put lots of hair bows in her hair. I really struggle with this sometimes because no matter how many dozens of times DJ and I tell her that she is beautiful because God made her and because of the person she is on the inside, she continues to bat her eyelashes and ask "does this dress make me look like a princess?"It's a battlefield with billboards and bikini bathing suits already and I'm nauseous just thinking about what my precious daughter might think about her body in 10 years. BUT GOD promises me that prayer is powerful and that pouring scripture into her heart will not return void. He is God and I won't give up.

Maci continues to love bugs, lizards, frogs, and any other animal she comes in contact with. I've been really wanting to get a dog lately, and Maci is a big reason for that. She is brave and has requested rats, snakes, and head-sized toads as pets but I'm not even tempted there.

Fruit of any kind is Maci's favorite food and our recent Costco membership is encouraging her addiction. As for most of her life, she eats a gluten free diet and is a champ about it - even asks her Sunday School teachers (or anyone else) if her snack is gluten free. I sometimes wonder if it's necessary but whenever I think about introducing wheat she gets some random rash or complains of her tummy hurting. I am always concerned that there is an underlying issue that I'm clueless about, and recently, I've been learning more about Nutrition Response Testing. I just want everyone to be healthy, as healthy as they can be (and I have a lot of expectations here because God designed these bodies). If only nutritious food was inexpensive and easy to find - GRRRR!!!

Blueberry attack.

I continue to be blown away by Maci's imagination. She is really smart and can talk her way through (and out of) just about anything. She loves to build lego towers with Eli and read dozens of books at a time. Pink is her favorite color and Daniel Tiger's Neighborhood is her favorite show. She LOVES babies and playing "mommy." Most people are surprised that she's four because she looks and acts older (sometimes 12), and even DJ and I have a hard time remembering until she screams in frustration because she can't fold a king sized blanket perfectly or because she isn't able to swim down to the bottom of the deep end to retrieve a dive stick.

I am constantly challenged and surprised by this girl and I'm so incredibly blessed that I get to be her mommy.

Eli Update

He is still my easy rule-follower. I can count on him to keep me sane and organized. Eli loves to have a plan - a plan for the day's schedule, a plan for our meals and snacks, and a plan for who he will be seeing and for how long ("will Evan be spending the night or is he just coming over to play for 30 minutes?"). This used to drive me crazy, and occasionally still does when eating breakfast and he asks what's for lunch. But I have learned a little more to put myself in Eli's shoes, and although I'm sure his need for routine is part personality, I know it's also partly from a history of living in the unknown. He is much more adventurous than just a year ago and as I see him process situations in his little mind, I see him more and more decide that he is safe. That is not a humble brag because I'm such a great mother, it's a declaration of God's goodness. I write updates like this to spend time thinking about where each of the kids were and where they are now - it's pretty special to sit front and center watching little lives develop and change, and a great reminder that even though I'm not living in a Romanian orphanage rocking diseased and unloved children or feeding an entire community in South America or living in a destitute shack providing nursing care to HIV infected, hopeless people, I am responsible for making a change. I am sharing the gospel and telling people about Jesus. I am getting the opportunity to love and serve and teach grace to children God loves. I easily (and often) forget my calling. Funnily enough, I can point it out to all my friends and family and see clear-as-the-sun the purpose of being a Christ-following Mother, but my vision gets real fuzzy when I look in the mirror. This blog is like glasses.

Back to Eli.

My boy is fun. He takes silly to a level only little boys can go and makes people laugh mostly because he's laughing so hard at himself. I've said it before but it remains fact - Eli's laugh is the BEST sound in the world. God must love me a lot to have blessed me with this sound, daily heard at the dinner table and in the living room before bedtime. I dare you to try not smiling while Eli laughs.

Eli is starting to enjoy the pool (yeah, that's not a typo) without a float around his waist. Baby steps, but definite pool progress. He loves Wild Kratts and learning about animals. I get about 800 "is the size of a velociraptor the same as a baboon?" kinds of questions every day. I know the answers to maybe 2. Maybe. Building lego towers happens every morning from 6:30-7:00 when it's officially "good morning time." Carbs and candy continue to be dance worthy. And Eli is such a great big brother that it sometimes shocks me. The kids aggravate and fight with each other more than ever, but Eli is so sweet with Mika. We're entering the phase where if he is corrected for something, he holds a grudge for a little while. A couple weeks ago he lost a reward for disobeying something (can't remember details that happened before this morning) and he sulked around for about 10 minutes before I asked him, "Eli are you angry with mommy?" to which he responded, "is that okay?" Haha!! I told him "it's okay to be truthful" and he said, "well, a little." Haha. That kid.

Eli is great at making friends! He loves pretending to be a T-Rex or an alligator or a cheetah. He also enjoys a good game of "baby" where he is the baby, Mika is the mommy, and Maci is the family dog. Sitting still is impossible - he. Can't. Do. It. And he falls asleep every night in under 5 minutes (don't forget to tell him something or give him medicine because waking him up is near impossible). His favorite color is orange and it's a challenge to get him to drink water. He is pretty good at brushing his teeth so he does it solo in the morning and with mommy or daddy's help at night. He loves riding his bike but refuses to learn without training wheels. He is in the elementary group at church and doing really well without his security blanket (Maci) most of the time. Splash pads are the best invention in history.

I am so thankful for my son.

Anymore kids?

I've been asked a lot lately about whether or not we want more kids. I guess with no more diapers comes the expectation that kid #4 will be in the works. All I can say on that topic is that we're waiting on God to lead us. And by that, I mean I'm waiting on God to lead DJ.

I constantly feel pulled to adopt, to get pregnant, and to let my "full plate" stay just the way it is. My brain is crazy. Honestly, when the foster parent road didn't work out I was really shocked. I knew that my first instinct to create another plan, to jump into raising adoption funds or start taking prenatal vitamins, was just a knee-jerk reaction. The only things driving my desire to grow our family are selfish and petty. I have always pictured my kids being really close in age, and although that makes early years much harder, I just love the dream. It's hard to really let go of all my plans and trust God to unfold it in His timing. I learned so much about myself and my need for God's grace and His Word through every step of adopting Eli - from waiting for so many months to seeing what so many people across the globe live without. It was humbling (so humbling) and spiritual and a blessing that I crave to have again. "So God, if you could just go ahead and deposit $30,000 in our bank account that'd be great. Let's call it Option A." I don't want to be any older and pregnant - it was hard enough the first few times in my 20's. "So God, if that's gonna happen, let's do it. We'll call it Option B." And I know how blessed I am to have 3 healthy children, and how so many of my friends and family struggle and work and plan year after year to have just one. I don't feel like I deserve to become a mom again before them. That's not exactly putting God first, is it? "No condemnation in Christ..." and all that. Sigh. And if I'm being really honest, I care too much about what others think. Mommyhood is crazy hard, and most of the time I'm barely keeping it together. What in the world would you all think if I have another kid?? "So God, if you think I need to simply focus on loving my family well, I'm okay with it - just don't bless me with a surprise in my 40's okay? That does not fit into my mind's picture. Let's call this Option C."

You're all completely agreeing with me that my brain is crazy now, right?

So after I throw all those balls in the air to juggle, I read in scripture to "wait on the Lord" over and over and over. And I hear sermons and read articles about how God is the head of the family, then the husband - and how God has put DJ in the leadership position on purpose. And there are no exceptions except for following him into sin - that's gotta include letting him take the lead on more kids or not, right? No matter how much I want to jump in and "see God glorified" since, of course, that's obviously always my priority (Did I mention that I'm also perfect?) I need to wait. And trust. And pray.

June 2013

Here are a few things we've been up to in June....

We discovered how fun salad bars are for kids.

She just realized that she ate 3 plates of food.

 DJ embarked on a 3 day lego building journey with Eli and Maci and the day it was finished, they played with it for 2 minutes before dismantling it.

 Maci practiced dressing herself and building lego towers.

 Mika had a baby.

 We spent a morning with Teagan.

 Sticker ear rings were everywhere! And on everyone.

 Eli decided that he's okay with training wheels for another 5 years. Shh! Don't tell him, but the bike riding bootcamp is coming. ;-)