Back to the Basics

1. Why Adopt?
That is a great question that DJ and I are never reserved about answering...although surprisingly few ask and just assume that we have fertility complications. That is understandable, but not the case. We have decided to adopt our children because we feel led to do so. It is not a charity case or a holy mission...we simply feel this is the plan God has and has had for our family. Our children are in Ethiopia, and we want them to come home.

2. Why Ethiopia?
There were several reasons that we decided on Ethiopia. First, it was a country that we "qualified" for (i.e. we were not qualified to adopt from China or India because of our age. sidenote: we were also drawn to India). Second, Ethiopia is notorious for taking excellent care of their children. That may sound funny in light of the following:

One in ten children die before their first birthday• One in six children die before their fifth birthday•720,000 children have been orphaned by AIDS alone, and there are 4.6 million orphans in Ethiopia• Half the children in Ethiopia will never attend school. 88% will never attend secondary school.• Ethiopia’s doctor to children ratio is 1 to 24,000

But, Ethiopian children (for the most part) are loved and wanted by their parents, but because of poverty, war, and AIDS, parents are forced to place their children somewhere where they will be fed and cared for...a decision they struggle with just as you or I would. Also, the agency we are working with has its own hospital and orphan care center where our children will be staying. It is run by Christian people who take WONDERFUL care of the children they are entrusted with...this was a huge pull for Ethiopia and CHSFS (our agency) because there is up to a 3 month wait from the time we find out who our children are, until we go get them...and we want to KNOW they are in good hands.

Third, there is a huge need in Ethiopia. As I mentioned before, conservatively, there are over 4.6 million orphans and some polls say up to 8 million. Also, the Ethiopian program is relatively smooth and reliable. In many countries, adoption fees "pop up" unexpectedly as you arrive to pick up your children, and in light of the recent Hague Convention laws coming into effect this year, we wanted to be confident that our adoption journey would avoid major "oops, sorry, all adoptions in this country have been placed on hold" snags. The wait time is less, the fees are less (unbelievably), and the travel is fairly safe. The eighth (yep, we're on 8) reason is that our church has quite the Ethiopian community developing, and it is important to us that our children have others they can relate to and learn from.

And the last reason for Ethiopia was the most important. When were deciding on a country at the beginning of '07 we spent a lot of time talking and praying and just felt so excited and drawn to Ethiopia. It kept coming back to the forefront of our minds (even as we purposefully tried to focus on other countries) and I found myself searching for Ethiopian facts and faces online. I read many adoption stories from Ethiopian built families and looked at all the pictures of children adopted from CHSFS's Ethiopia program. The children are beautiful and my heart melted!

3. Why Not Adopt From Home?
I think I've mentioned this in a previous post before, but there is simply not a need in the United States for adoptive parents. There is a HUGE need for foster parents, and DJ and I discussed seriously doing just that. Our focus would have been "fostering with the intent to adopt." But, I have known personally someone who fostered an adorable little boy for about 3 years - he and his wife raised this child from only weeks of age until the age of 3. At that time, the maternal grandmother decided she would like to have a go at raising her grandson, but because of the length of time the toddler spent with my friends, he and his wife were awarded visitation. Over several weeks, they started to notice the little boy lose weight and develop bruises. Of course, they immediately began fighting for his return to their custody, but the grandma was not ready to admit her lack of ability to care for her grandson. It took almost a year for enough evidence to be gathered (and much suffering and neglect on behalf of the child) until grandma decided she'd had enough. She gave up her rights to the child, and he was returned to the only mother, father, and sister he had ever known. It took another year for my friend and his wife to adopt this little boy. And THIS is one of the good stories.

In the end, DJ and I decided we are not ready to foster children, always living with the fear that they will be taken away. We do GREATLY admire and respect those who follow that calling...it deeply amazes us and we thank God for you.

There is over a 2 year wait for adoptive families in the United States.

4. Will You Have Biological Children?
We don't have the answer to this question right now. We will determine what's best for our family after our family is all together. AND, of course, we will need a little more house before we can fit one more person in.