Journal 3

September 6, 2009

Day 3

Today was THE DAY. We started off in Dubai – we met several adoptive families that were joining us on our flight to Ethiopia and so we had nice chats, exchanged blog sites, and helped each other find our way through the Addis Airport. We made it through customs without any problems and met the couple that was supposed to call us in NYC – Vivianne and Wayne. They seem like a nice couple. We are staying at the New Flower together and so we waited for our chauffer, Alazar, to arrive. When he did, we came to the New Flower and unloaded our stuff. Then we talked about what we wanted to do and where we wanted to go. We decided to go see our kids at the El Elom Orphan Center first and then DJ and I would go over to the Transition House that CCI runs to drop off some things to the kids and see some babies Sue was concerned about. Vivianne and Wayne were going to stay behind with their daughter. We had so much fun at the Transition House that we forgot about the baby boys I was supposed to look at. We will go back tomorrow or Wednesday. More to come on that later…

Our plane landed at about 10 am and we got to the guest house about 12ish. Our room is nice and clean, but too small to fit our bed, our luggage, and a crib. We had to put most of our stuff in another room that is empty to fit Temesgen’s bed in there and we can’t have a suite case open if we’re inside. It’s kinda fun and reminds me of the place mom and I stayed in San Francisco – The San Remo. We have two bathrooms all to ourselves, well, not quite to ourselves – the nice man who works here, Yanathan, lives downstairs and uses it, too. Yanathan has a law degree but can’t find work so he works here for room and board and a meager salary. He looks to be 24ish. He speaks very good English and has been such a great help to us – he ran out to buy us minutes for the phone so we could call home, bananas for Temesgen, and some juice to have with breakfast.

Meeting Temesgen…
We arrived to the El Elolam Orphanage around 1:30ish. Most of the houses around here are known as compounds – they are surrounded with high walls, usually topped off with barbed wire, and have colorful gates that can fit a car through. We parked outside and piled out of the Jeep. Alazar knocked on the gate and someone came to open it, I couldn’t see who. We walked inside and there was just a big, brick covered patio with a small grass/weed covered lot to the left. The house was shaped like an upside down, sideways L and Temesgen was standing right in the crook with his friend, a little girl whose name I can’t recall. He was standing, just staring at us all walking in and DJ and I recognized him right away. I took a picture of DJ smiling at him – he looked so excited to see Temesgen – it was soo cute! Then we walked toward him while the other couple went upstairs to meet their daughter. He looked so shy and so unsure of us. I kneeled down, DJ followed, and we talked to him and smiled at him. After a minute or two, we pulled out a couple toys we brought with us. His little friend was smiling at me already, so I gave her the toy and tickled her tummy – she kept smiling. Then I tickled Temesgen’s tummy and he didn’t pull away. One of his caregivers, Hewitt (who runs both that orphanage and the one in Debra Zet where Temesgen is from) told me that he likes to be hugged, so I moved in real slowly and pulled my arms around his tiny little body. He was so small. He nuzzled his face into my neck and I started crying. I kissed his cheek and he didn’t move but I could feel him tense up a little so I backed off. DJ came in for a hug and I picked up his sweet little friend. She hugged me and laughed and I kissed her neck. We played together with her new toy for a minute, then I put her down and held my hands out to Temesgen. He looked away. Hewitt told me again how much he loves hugs so I picked him up and he just melted against me. I cried again and told him how much I love him and how long I’d been wanting to hold him, then I let DJ take him and hold him for a few minutes. After that, it became awkward that we were all just standing around with Alazar, who was on stand-by for translation, so we went upstairs to meet the rest of the children…who had been staring over the balcony at the happenings (US) below.

There were three rooms upstairs plus a bathroom that had a sink and toilet. The first room we went into was the small children’s room – it had about 4 or 5 cribs and 2 sets of bunk beds plus a mat on the floor. They pointed to a white crib and said that it was Temesgen’s. Temesgen and I sat on the mat and cuddled while Hewitt introduced the other children to us and I got to see Wayne and Vivianne’s new daughter, Tensay. DJ and I unloaded all the donations from the bag we brought with us and gave them to a nice man who is somehow related to Hewitt – I’m not sure how, she just said he was family. Then we asked if we could go on a tour. Everyone looked very uneasy and Hewitt told us, “but it is raining, we will go after the rain stops.” We would have to go out into the rain to take the stairs down to the first floor, but it didn’t look like it was going to stop anytime soon. So, we settled on seeing the other 2 rooms. We went into a tiny room that had two toddler beds and a small bookshelf littered with clothing, toys, and an old computer monitor. Next, we went into another room. There was a large, hideous entertainment center with Shrek playing in the background. On the other side of the room, there were 2 couches and a chair surrounding a large coffee table. Back next to the TV, there were some bookshelves and a desk that were covered in papers, toys, clothes, formula, etc. The TV was loud. Everyone just sat and stared at each other. Hewitt motioned for us to sit down, we did.

On our ride over to the Transition house, we realized we had not had any lunch, so we pulled out some dried fruit and a bottle of water we had the fortune to remember to pack. I offered Temesgen an apricot and he grabbed it, shoving the whole thing in his mouth, barely able to chew. I let him work on that for a minute, then I offered him some dried banana slices and he scarfed those down too. By this time, I was about to cry because it was obvious that he was starving. I offered him some water and he drank tinny tiny sips, then I pulled out the cranberries. He grabbed an entire handful and tried to shove them all in his mouth. At this point, I decided it was best to limit his intake to only chewable amounts.

We arrived at the gate to the Transition House and again, climbed out in front of the big gate. Alazar knocked and after a minute, it opened. We stepped inside the compound to see lots of little faces poking out of the front door. When they saw us, they ran inside and told their nannies. We got the feeling there was some frantic cleaning and rearranging happening as we walked to the house. But when we went inside, one of the nannies held out her hand to me and I took it. She shyly stepped back. The next nanny was not so shy, and when she took my hand, she pulled my face to hers and touched my cheek with her cheek, then she repeated it again. I smiled and started to pull away, but she pulled me back again for one more cheek-to-cheek pat. That was my very first official Ethiopian greeting. Now that I was introduced, the third nanny repeated the custom with me and then led me into a large room just off the foyer where all of the older kids were staying. There were small beds, some bunk, some single lined up against the 3 walls with a large open space in the middle. On the 4th wall were 2 desks where the nannies taught lessons. We asked Alazar to tell the kids that we had presents for them – we brought maps showing each of them where they were going to in the USA, as well as where their friends would be going. All the kids were crazy excited and showing one another their maps. A couple of the children could speak a little English, and of course, wanted to practice on DJ and I. DJ videoed a little. The kids were soo cute with their maps, they all had to show the nannies and then have Alazar tape them to the walls above their beds. The nannies here were wonderful. They obviously loved these kids soo soo much – they laughed with them and hugged them and helped them remember English words they kept forgetting so they could run right up to us and talk. DJ started taking pictures, and of course, all the kids wanted to have their picture taken. After a couple of minutes of that, the smallest child, a little boy about 2 or 3 walked up to DJ and held his hand. DJ melted into a pile of mush and somehow the camera ended up in my hand. I was sitting on a chair in the middle of the room that one of the nannies brought me and insisted I sit on, surrounded by about 10 kids. I took the camera and started to take pictures and then show the camera screen to the child I just captured. THEY LOVED IT!! We did this for about 10 minutes while they would strike a pose and find yet another friend they just had to have a picture with or bring me to yet another location they just had to have their picture taken at. The kids were sooo fun doing this! I could have stayed there for hours. I let a few of the older kids take a picture of me, which was even MORE fun to them than having their picture taken, but that’s where it became very dangerous for the camera. I had to take it after a couple of them just wanted to take one more shot, but couldn’t decide who would go first. It was hard to leave there, but we were starving and decided it was time to go back to the orphanage to get the rest of our crew and head back to the New Flower.

We hugged all the children and thanked the nannies and headed out, looking back to see all those tiny heads poking out of the door again to wave goodbye.

On the ride back to El Elolam, Temesgen got more dried fruit, part of a granola bar, and some sips of water. We were surprised to find that Vivianne and Wayne were ready to go back, so we started to say goodbye to the nannies. The plan was to leave Temesgen and Tensay at the orphanage, but we were told that we had to come back in the morning before going to Debra Zet to get Hewitt anyway, and we could just bring the kids back then. We cut our goodbyes short and replaced them with see-you-laters. The kids did great leaving, they were just quiet and shy. The ride home was not very eventful, Temesgen ate a few more bites and Tensay fell asleep.

We got back to the New Flower and ordered some dinner, then headed upstairs to play with Temesgen alone. That was nice. He did great with us, still shy and reserved, but he did smile a couple of times. After about an hour of play, we decided to give him a bath because dinner was going to be ready. We gathered all our stuff and headed to the restroom. DJ started the water and I pulled off Temesgen’s diaper. He started to cry. I hugged him and talked very reassuringly and set him into the tub. He screamed and reached for me. I hugged him to me, with the tub in between us and DJ started to hose him off. He screamed louder. We decided to turn off the water and pour handfuls at a time onto his little back and arms. Temesgen turned it down to a whimper. We were able to give him a full bath, wash his hair, and clean out his ears with minimal crying…only once more when we needed more water in the tub (there was no stopper). Then we got him out and put on his much-larger-than-necessary diaper, followed by her very, very large 24 month zip-up pajamas. They swallowed him!!

Then we went downstairs to dinner and enjoyed a nice traditional Ethiopian meal. Temesgen didn’t fuss at all when we put his bib on and ate like a champ. When we finished, we thanked the staff and headed upstairs to get ready for bed. Temesgen didn’t quite know what to think about having his teeth brushed, but after a few tires, he let us do a good job. We all laid down on the bed and Temesgen fell asleep after about 3 minutes. I left the boys to go pump and get ready for bed. When I came back, about 45 minutes later, Temesgen was comfy in his bed and DJ was sound asleep. It was about 8:00.

We all slept like babies until 3:00. Then, DJ and I were wide awake and chatty. We talked until 4:00, then I think we woke Temesgen up and he didn’t know where he was. He screamed and I got up and grabbed him. I hugged him and rocked him and told him that everything was ok, then put him in bed with us and cuddled. He put his sweet little hand on DJ’s arm and put his feet over my leg and cuddled into my side and fell right asleep. We laid there until about 6:30 and I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was so hungry, I needed to pump, and I was just sick of lying there for so long. I got up and Temesgen awoke. More on tomorrow, to come tomorrow…